EXPERIENCING GOD'S POWER IN MY MARRIAGE: Part 2 God's Power to Help Me Meet My Spouse's Physical Intimacy Needs

After a married couple has been married for a number of years there is a tendency for their relationship to grow stale in the area of physical intimacy. Maybe it's because of fatigue and both partners are tired. They are physically tired from working 50 to 60 hours a week trying to carve out a living. They are tired from all of the activities and responsibilities that go along with raising kids. Maybe their intimacy has decreased because their sexual routine has become boring and the novelty of their sexual exploration with each other has worn off. Maybe because of a lack of information on how to please each other sexually and a lack of communication to share what would be satisfying during lovemaking has created a frustration over the sexual act. Whatever the reason many married couples begin to experience a dramatic decrease in their intimate and sexual experience with each other. Some people even begin to convince themselves that this is normal by thinking that physical intimacy is only for young married couples. But that is just not true.

While it is true that God created sex for procreation so that young married couples in their child bearing years can populate the earth ("Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth." Gen 1:28), it is not true that was his only intent. God also created sex for it to be pleasurable. God also wanted sex to be a very wonderful and pleasurable experience. God designed sex to feel good. Sex is very pleasurable and an emotionally good activity when it is done within godly parameters. The Bible talks about this in the Song of Songs 7:6-9;10-12 about how a husband and wife are sexually attracted to each other and how they find each other's body pleasurable. It says:

"How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm and your breasts like clusters of fruit. May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apple, and your mouth like the best wine ... I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom - there I will give you my love."

This is not a young married couple in the prime of their sexual peek. This is a mature married couple who have grown together and experience much of life together. This is a married couple that sounds to me as if they really enjoy being physically intimate with each other. It is as if they are thinking about each other all day long and expecting and anticipating being with each other. It is as if there is a lot of flirtation going on throughout the day knowing that it will culminate with an intimate encounter.

Husbands and wives need, both physically and emotionally, to sexually intimate with their married partner. It is essential. This is the reason why the apostle Paul wrote such clear instruction to both husbands and wives about their marital duties:

"The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NIV).

There are some basic needs that that all people have that a marriage partner is expected to meet. That doesn't mean that a husband is suppose to meet all of the needs of his wife, nor is the wife suppose to meet all of the needs of her husband. Our spouses are not God, they are limited in what they can and cannot do but there are some basic needs that God does expect a husband to provide for his wife and the wife to provide for her husband. But in the area of sexual needs, the need for physical intimacy it is the responsibility of both the husband and the wife to meet.

God has given us the physical bodies that we have, in part, to meet the sexual needs of our spouses. We are not to withhold intimacy from them for any reason other than for a short period of time for prayer. We are not to use sex as a weapon to punish our spouses with or as a tool to reward them with. It is used to meet each others basic need for physical intimacy. If we do withhold this vital marriage activity from them to long we run the risk of Satan coming and tempting our spouse to fulfill that need in some other way or with some other person.

I honestly feel that many marriages have lost their sexual happiness because one or both of the partners have stopped flirting and being romantic with each other. They've forgotten what it is like to walk along the beach, arm in arm, smelling each other's sweet aroma while watching the sunset. They've forgotten how they romanced each other by sending love notes and flowers. They have forgotten what it is like to dress up, put on nice clothes, eat a romantic dinner and sit by the fireside gazing into each other's eyes.

I feel it is time for couples to remember that our sexual encounters, as married couples, start long before we get to the bedroom. It is through those flirtatious comments, those little kisses on the neck, the whistle as she walks by, those times of lightly brushing up against him and those short but very sensual light kisses as he goes to work that set in motion, for later, an encounter of passion.

It is part of God's plan and will for us to have a long and physically intimate relationship with our spouses. And because it is God's plan for us he is willing to give us the power to meet this need. He will give you the wisdom on how to plan to be romantic again. Romance is not spontaneous! It is planned. You plan to go buy the flowers, you plan on where to go out for dinner. You plan to go to a romantic get away. You plan what you are going to wear and how to do your hair. You plan and seek out the right card to get. AND THEN YOU EXECUTE YOUR PLAN!

HUSBANDS AND WIVES, IN THE NAME OF JESUS, GO OUT
AND ENJOY EACH OTHER!