Building A Marriage That Will Last

We live in a day and age where 50% of the couples who get married will also get divorced. This reality has caused many people to not expect to stay married. A new term has been coined. It is called STARTER MARRIAGES. This is where couples getting married don't expect their first marriage to last. They expect to learn what they can about marriage and then get divorced and move on to their next marriage, hopefully more prepared than they were the first time. As a result, left in the wake of these broken marriages, are lives that have been devastated and ruined. Husbands, wives and children are all suffering from the pain that these broken families have created. The truth is statistically a couple has a far better chance of a happy married life with the spouse they are presently married to than if they divorce and look for greener pastures. In other words if you want to have the best odds for a happy marriage your best chance is with the marriage you are presently in.

But how do you build a marriage that lasts? What are the essential ingredients to build a strong and happy marriage? Is there anything that we can do as a couple that will create a strong foundation from which to build our marriage? The answer to these questions is a resounding, YES!

Take a look at what Jesus said when speaking about divorce and the importance of marriage in Matthew 19:3-6,

"Some Pharisees came to him (Jesus) to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason? 'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Did you read that last sentence of what Jesus said? It said that it is God who takes the man and the woman and knits them together so they become one flesh. One of the most important ingredients in building a marriage that lasts is to recognize that a marriage is not just the union of a man and a woman. It is not just about two people. But marriage is about three people. To build a strong marriage we desperately need to understand that it will involve the husband, the wife and God. It is God who is the surgeon who is grafting the man and the woman together so that they can become "ONE FLESH". He is not only the surgeon but he is also the thread that sutures the two lives together.

This partnership of the husband, wife and God is not just for the wedding day. God does not leave the picture after the minister says, "I now pronounce you husband and wife." God doesn't just get the marriage off to a good start and then abandon it and leave it to its own devices. No, God continues to be a part of the marriage relationship forever. God is as much interested in the success of the marriage as anyone else and in many cases he is more interested in it. If a married couple is serious about developing a lasting and loving relationship until death do they part then they absolutely must make God an intregal part of their relationship and lives. God must become the apex toward which both husband and wife are moving. For in moving toward God they also are moving toward each other.

Let me illustrate it this way. When a husband and wife are having troubles they are pulling away from each other and struggling with each other. It is almost as if they are having a tug of war.


But if they are both reaching toward God and striving to grow closer in their relationships to God the natural outcome will be that they are growing closer to each other as well.


This is why I highly recommend that if a husband and wife are serious about developing a marriage that will last they also become serious about developing relationships with God, through his Son, Jesus, who can become the suturing thread that keeps them united.

If you are interested in knowing more about how to develop this relationship with God please feel free to contact me at: jln4moore@yahoo.com and I will be glad to share with you how to accomplish that goal. God bless. Pastor Jay